As my feet stomp the trails of HoneyRock, my mind fills with clarity, knowing I could not imagine being anywhere else than Vanguard. Every day, even in the mundane moments, my answer to the question: Why Vanguard? becomes more and more concise.
An opportunity that seemed impossible now makes complete sense as the current trajectory for my story.
Admittedly, through my tendency to be headstrong and pridefully independent, I had convinced myself that I knew exactly what I was doing with my future. I never believed that taking another gap year would be a part of my story. This time a year ago, I was lost and confused. I had been carrying an immense amount of pain and grief for the past few years and I felt confined and stuck in my environment. I felt burnt out from pursuing my dreams of creative writing, and it was too late to apply to any university. I trusted that God had a plan for me, but I started to feel weary as I waited for Him to bring clarity.
However, in working at HoneyRock this past summer, my plans completely changed. I had come to HoneyRock as a camper and always dreamed of working on summer staff one day. Last spring, a friend of mine from the Wheaton area raised the question, “Have you thought of working at HoneyRock this summer?” At first, I brushed it aside... I had too much happening to see that being a possibility for the summer. But after some persistence from a close friend and a dash of faith, I made the decision to apply to HoneyRock. Six weeks later, I was working in the Northwoods on summer staff.
I walked into my summer job at HoneyRock carrying a lot of frustration and pain from the season I was coming out of, yet the HoneyRock community surrounded me with grace and love as I made my way into the summer season. Still, I had a lingering feeling that this was just the beginning of a season of refinement in the Northwoods.
Within the first few weeks of the summer, Charlie Geoeke, the School Year Program Director, approached me after morning staff devotions. He asked what my plans were for the fall. Slightly embarrassed, I told him I was unsure and felt led to HoneyRock that summer to figure out that question. Charlie brought up my application for Vanguard from the previous year [I had applied, gotten accepted, but chose a different path]. He said that if I was interested in the upcoming school year, my application was still viable for consideration for Fall 2023. With further consideration, I wondered, “If God reopens a door to pursue a once in a lifetime opportunity, wouldn’t I be a fool for not grabbing it and running towards it with purpose and faith?” This renewed mindset started to fuel my unexpected pursuit of Vanguard.
Fast forward a few days, I distinctly remember sitting on a picnic bench, awaiting the news about the state of my acceptance, feeling extremely intimidated by my interview. In that moment, I was so certain that I would not get a spot in the program for the fall. As Charlie walked up to me, I blurted, “I didn’t get in, did I?” With a slight smile, he said, “Well, a little box like this one usually means good news.” He handed me my acceptance box, and I felt a sense of peace and clarity wash over me and my future. Charlie gave me time to think the decision over, to get my affairs in order, and yet I felt such a strong tug on my heartstrings that Vanguard was the next step God was calling me towards.
My acceptance into the Vanguard program was just a start to the series of answered prayers that I would receive during the year ahead. Upon the start of Vanguard, God began working immediately, and I truly believe He has no plans of quitting. Thus far, through time spent under the starry night sky and within the misty Northern Wisconsin woodlands, I have found a tremendous amount of purpose within my soul. I have found clarity through time alone and in community. I’ve found answers to the questions I’d been holding onto by tackling the experiences provided in courses, like in our rock climbing [class] intensive and through our twenty-four-hour solo [structured time of solitude and silence] on our backpacking trip to Pictured Rocks. I have felt the provision of my Heavenly Father through the mentorship I receive from Fellows and graduate students. I feel I’ve begun to gain a true sense of purpose and have experienced newfound growth through the opportunities I've been given to lead in my peer community.
I feel I’ve begun to gain a true sense of purpose and have experienced newfound growth through the opportunities I've been given to lead in my peer community.
It is truly astounding to reflect on the progress and reformation that has taken place in my life in just a short amount of time – we're quickly approaching the halfway mark of our gap year! But I think this is truly a testament to the way the Lord works in places like HoneyRock. Through intentional community and sacred moments, Vanguards get to experience transformation and positive change in their lives daily.
Through intentional community and sacred moments, Vanguards get to experience transformation and positive change in their lives daily.
Do you know a recent or soon-to-be high school grad looking for the next right thing?
Maybe you're the one looking for the next right step?
© 2026 HoneyRock Center for Leadership Development
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